Portrait by Tao Nguyen

Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

RHYTHM OF LIFE

Often on my “GOOD FORTUNE” Facebook newsfeed I come across posts that relate to things I wrote in “GOOD FORTUNE” and I share them with my followers. Today I decided to share this one on my blog. It’s about being in touch with the changing rhythms of our bodies.

Zen Heart writes: “There is a right time for each of the things you do. If you try to live counter to your personal rhythms, you will expend more time and energy to get things done. Body and soul suffer when you force yourself to wrestle against your own rhythms. Listen to your rhythms and follow them.”

Page 161 of “GOOD FORTUNE” aged Tong is speaking to his son, Wu, who is alarmed at his father’s aging. Tong attempts to reassure Wu that he’s fine:

"Life has its own rhythm that conforms to our daily existence. It changes with us as we grow and mature.
For most of my life I have worked hard, and now, I am getting ready to slow down my pace and take the needed time to rest. I have earned that right, which did not come easily. Do not deny an old man the reward he has labored toward his entire life.

Page 162 the conversation continues:
“Occasionally my joints ache, but I have nothing hurting me in the way you fear. I’m slowing down, so if I work less and keep myself warm, that will be my best tonic. My biggest comforts in life now are a bowl of hot noodles and watching my grandsons tumble on the floor the way Cho and I once did when we were boys.”




Monday, July 23, 2012

FOREVER YOUNG


It happens before you know it. A glance in the mirror shows the beginning of age lines. Traces of gray hair have suddenly cropped up. You awake one morning, get out of bed and feel aches and pains in your joints when you walk. While shaving or moisturizing, you observe your neck is starting to look like a wattle. You can’t stop it. Aging is part of living and if you consider the alternative, a few wrinkles and some joint aches aren’t so bad. But why, you lament, why can’t you stay young forever? This is a question people have pondered for centuries while searching for eternal youth. British author James Hilton wrote of Shangri-La in his novel “Lost Horizon.” He created the residents of Shangri-La as almost immortal, living years beyond the normal lifespan while they aged slowly in appearance. For thousands of years tales of a fountain of youth have been written. Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon was searching for the fountain of youth when he traveled to what is now Florida.
“Forever Young”
By Bob Dylan

"May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young."



We’re bombarded every day with messages to eat healthy foods, take vitamins, exercise, don’t smoke, apply sunscreen before going outside. Tummy tucks, liposuction, facelifts and laser treatments pay college tuition for dermatologist’s kids. I do my best to cook whole foods, moisturize with SPF 30, get regular exercise and floss at night. But I admit there are times when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and don’t recognize myself. I still feel like a twenty year old inside but the reality is, I’m not.

In “Good Fortune” I write about Michael’s and Wu’s feelings about the changes they see in their outward appearance as they realize they’re aging. I introduce Michael after he’s suddenly laid off his executive job and finds himself literally thrown into a pool of much younger job seekers who have a definite edge over him. He confesses his frustration to his friend Eric:

“Going on job interviews at my age sucks. Twenty applicants show up for one lousy opening. Most of them are kids compared to me. Hell, I’m twice their age. I feel old and . . . well . . . useless. Like my time has come and gone and there’s no future for me anymore.”
“Bullshit. You've got experience, those kids have got acne.”
Michael placed his spoon on the table and stared at it for a few seconds, and then his eyes met Eric’s. “Well, a lot of good a clear complexion does me. I haven't had a single response to the resumes I've submitted.”

Later, when he’s contemplating whether or not to take a temporary job while he’s figuring out how he’s going to open his own business, Michael steps from the shower and regards his image:

            Above the bathroom sink, steam misted the mirror blocking his reflection. He used the corner of his towel and rubbed a circle in the middle; his reflection stared back at him. It was apparent his recent setback had taken its toll because his face looked slightly older. He noticed a certain edge to his expression that wasn’t there before, enhanced by the small worry lines that had begun to form between his eyebrows. Well, there was nothing he could do about that. Since he would be interviewing soon, he hoped his life experience and maturity would count in his favor.

Like Michael, Wu is facing his own personal challenges and one morning while shaving, he notices how the passage of time is changing him.

            While he lathered up to shave, Wu scrutinized his reflection in the bathroom mirror and noticed the beginning of fine age lines fanning his eyes that would inevitably turn into deep wrinkles like his father's. He was struck with the harsh realization that time was passing for him, too.

Beyond the cosmetic changes Wu observes in himself, he has deep feelings about his father growing old. He expresses his concern, but his father has a quite different perspective:

“Son, I appreciate your concern about my health, but you must accept the fact that all men grow old. I cannot prevent time from passing, and if I could, I wouldn’t want to. Life has its own rhythm that conforms to our daily existence. It changes with us as we grow and mature. For most of my life I have worked hard, and now, I am getting ready to slow down my pace and take the needed time to rest. I have earned that right, which did not come easily. Do not deny an old man the reward he has labored toward his entire life.”
Until that moment, Wu hadn't realized how much he had taken his father for granted, or that he wanted him to remain healthy and vigorous so he would never die and leave him, like his mother. Even though they clashed for years, his father was always there, a solid presence he now recognized he would lose. This sudden realization forced him to acknowledge that as much as he wanted to change the course of life and keep his father forever young, he knew it was beyond his human power to do so.
Accept the change; that's what Father is saying. I’ll try, but it feels as if he is asking too much of me.
Sensing Wu's distress, Tong addressed his son in a calm voice. “In due time, your own sons will become grown men who will feel all that you are experiencing now as you observe how old and withered this body of mine has become. If you can learn acceptance of old age and how it transforms those you love who were once strong and full of spirit into frail tired souls, when it becomes necessary, you will be able to guide your boys with love and compassion as they struggle to accept the changes they perceive in you, when you follow in my footsteps.”
Wu approached his father’s bed. “If that's what you wish, Father, I'll try. But please be honest. Is it only old age that ails you? If you are suffering any pain, any pain at all, I want you to see the acupuncturist.” When Tong protested, Wu added, “At least let Anna brew you some medicinal tea to make you feel better.”
Tong wouldn't hear of it. “Nonsense! Occasionally my joints ache, but I have nothing hurting me in the way you fear. I’m slowing down, so if I work less and keep myself warm, that will be my best tonic. My biggest comforts in life now are a bowl of hot noodles and watching my grandsons tumble on the floor the way Cho and I once did when we were boys.”
It was impossible for Wu to imagine the two old men as young rambunctious boys and he smiled at the thought of his own sons being the same as his Uncle Cho and Father once were.

Yes, we were all young children who took our youth for granted. Now that we’re older and wiser, let’s be accepting of the aging process and the knowledge that brings us. If you have unfinished business with someone, do what you can to make peace between you while you still have the opportunity. After exchanging harsh words with his father, Wu watches him walk away:

Tong turned his back on his son. On the way to his room his slippers made an angry slapping sound on the wooden floor. With sorrow, Wu watched his father walk away thinking how he always looked old and tired, but that night especially, he detected something more, something beyond the usual air of sadness surrounding him, something that had made him unapproachable. He knew he was helpless to stop his father's grieving for his long-departed mother. Nor was he able to stop the inevitable changes that accompany aging. Time was fading the old man into the shadows, and Wu’s chance to mend the cracks in their relationship before his father’s death seemed impossibly out of reach. The realization consumed him with grief.

I choose to view aging as a positive experience. Wrinkles tell our life stories and should be cherished. Aches and pains remind me I’m alive. Each day I repeat these words: “I make peace within myself and let go of anger towards those who are unapproachable and unyielding. I’m mindful of the blessings each morning brings when I awake, and I give thanks for this day.”

Yours in good fortune,
Leslie Bratspis
Author

"Good Fortune" is available on Amazon.com & Kindle, Barnes & Noble.com & Nook
Goodreads.com & Smashwords.com
http://www.amazon.com/Leslie-Bratspis/e/B005EJ438W

Friday, June 15, 2012

CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE?

No, I don’t want your money! What I mean is, can you spare some time to reflect and look at what’s going on in your life that needs to change, and then do whatever it takes to make that happen? Here's an example. I constantly rushed around and became so accustomed to being stressed out that stress became my “normal.” Monday through Friday I left the house an hour early to make a commute in congested traffic that shouldn’t have taken more than twenty minutes. By the time I arrived at work I was so keyed up the mood was set for the day and I couldn't slow down. Year after year my husband and I both worked ourselves into a state of exhaustion until one of us realized we had to take a vacation before the pace we were keeping had a negative impact on our health. It was a wake-up call that brought me to my senses and sprung me into action. I booked our flight to Kauai, a car, and rented a condo in Poipu Beach. The next morning I informed my boss when we were going and I arranged for a temp to cover me in my absence. I was so firm when I told her our plans I didn't get any resistance.

The morning of our departure the airport shuttle came for us fifteen minutes late and freeway traffic was making such slow progress I was sure we wouldn’t make it to the airport in time. My heart pounded until we arrived. After we checked our bags and passed through security we went to a restaurant for breakfast. I kept checking my watch, impatient to board the plane. My husband’s cell phone rang—a business call—life as usual. 


 ~

We arrived! My husband knew the way to Poipu Beach and drove us directly to the condo. On the way, I drank in the sunlight, awed by the deep red soil and lush vegetation. Ancient mountains in the distance dotted the countryside. Kauai is a paradise where papaya trees grow alongside the road and tropical flowers bloom everywhere. By the time we drove beneath the tree tunnel I knew we were almost at our destination.


I was anxious to get settled and felt it took the clerk much too long to check us in. Our internal clocks were operating from totally different perspectives. The condo was beautifully furnished and had a spectacular ocean view. I opened the sliding glass door and the breeze caressed my face. The sound of breaking waves and the rustle of palm trees embraced me and felt like a soothing balm. Tropical birds sang, “padda pah pah, padda pah pah.”

Almost in a trance, I settled back on the couch and said to my husband, “I remember this; now I remember this feeling. I haven’t felt this way since the last time we were here.” My shoulders relaxed and the nervousness poured from my body like running water, replaced by a feeling of inner peace and well-being. I’d surrendered to island time. I was being mindful and living in the moment.
 ~

Two characters in Good Fortune, Michael Hamilton and Wu Chow, are over-achievers. They focus only on work and neglect the rest of their lives. When Michael gets laid off he's completely lost and doesn’t know how to process what's happened. Several weeks later when he meets Jennie Greene at a bookstore and invites her to coffee, they talk about themselves and Jennie is such a good listener he makes a confession.

             “Until a few weeks ago I was an executive at an advertising firm. My job dominated my life. Now I don’t know what to do with myself and all this free time.” He adds, “I was so busy I didn't even allow myself time off to take a real vacation. Work became my identity.”

Later, at his friend Eric Brewer’s house, Michael talks to his wife Susan, a licensed therapist. Susan listens as he expresses his feelings about losing his job and his frustration with his situation. Susan says:

           “I don’t want to make you feel worse. Look, the important thing to recognize is, by driving yourself to achieve in school and business, you were so driven to succeed that you didn’t leave yourself enough time to develop your personal life. What have you got without your career that defines who you are now?”
“Nothing,” he admitted. He averted his eyes for a moment. “It’s depressing, but I don’t know what to do and I’m feeling kind of lost. Everything I was—or thought I was—is gone.”
 ~

Wu’s circumstance is the mirrored image of Michael’s, exactly the same but opposite. He has a wife and sons and manages Good Fortune family restaurant. His job is secure and even though he can make his own schedule, instead of taking time off to be with his family he chooses instead to work long hours and neglect them as the excerpt below reveals.

Anna and the boys spent a lot of time without him despite the fact the restaurant was so successful he no longer had to prove himself to anyone. Instead of celebrating his achievement with his wife and children, he imposed pressure on himself, believing only he was qualified to run things at the level he wanted. He forgot his father’s lesson: “Learn to delegate authority to others. They will appreciate the opportunity to earn your trust.”
At night he played host in the dining room, networked parties, and bought customers drinks. He put in so many hours at work he rarely, if ever, was home for dinner anymore.

Wu’s father, Tong, waits patiently for the right moment to confront him. When it finally comes he says:

“For years I have watched you work tirelessly in your effort to amass more and more money for the future, never seeing what it cost you in the present. You achieved affluence years ago. Nonetheless, you have felt driven to accumulate a greater fortune without realizing the irony of your endeavor to obtain what you already have.”

Michael and Wu both have to make life altering decisions and change their priorities. They each have important life lessons to learn while they embark on personal journeys and discover how to overcome difficult challenges. Tong's gentle wisdom will guide them in totally different ways.  Please read Good Fortune and find out what happens.

When facing your own life challenges, I wish you success in reaching your goals toward good fortune.

Leslie Bratspis, Author
Good Fortune

Good Fortune is available on Amazon.com, Kindle, Barnes&Noble.com,  Nook & Smashwords.com 

 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

WHO IS JENNIE GREENE?

That’s what I had to determine when I wrote her into my manuscript. Here's Michael’s first glimpse of her:

Seated a couple of chairs to his right was an attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties, clear blue eyes and golden brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was dressed casually in jeans and a tight-fitting sweater. Perched across her finely shaped nose was an attractive pair of reading glasses through which she scrutinized him with a look of concerned amusement. Her smile was warm and appealing.

I wanted Jennie to be a positive influence on Michael, part of his transition from shallow egotistical bachelor with his “love ‘em and leave ‘em” attitude to a man with heart, yet afraid to commit to marriage because of deep unresolved emotional problems he still has to work out. After their initial meeting inside The Words of Wisdom metaphysical bookstore, he watches her walk away.

…Michael found himself admiring Jennie's feminine shape in her tightly fitted jeans and wondered what she would look like without her clothes on.

Typical. He’s just had an interesting conversation with her about dreams and symbols and how they translate inside the unconscious mind, but all he can think of is her nude body. Before watching her leave, Michael asked Jennie to join him later for coffee after she’s finished teaching dance class. They meet at the Second Cup and Jennie finds herself drawn to him. She shares private information she’s kept secret.

“While I was still in school, an artist friend gave me a beautiful gift. She made an oil painting depicting a ballerina after she danced her final performance.” Her hands moved expressively as she spoke. “She's seated backstage with her torso bent over and her head resting on folded arms across her knees. Flowing down her back, her long black hair makes a graceful veil.”
Jennie fell silent, picked up her spoon and stirred her coffee again with unnatural concentration.
Sensing she was about to share something of a personal nature, Michael wondered what he ought to say to put her at ease. Without knowing her very well, he decided to be cautious. “It sounds beautiful. How did the painting impact your decision to teach?”
Jennie stopped stirring her coffee and met his gaze with complete honesty.
“When I hung it on the wall, I only saw the dancer's sadness. My friend viewed it strictly from an artist's perspective. Her eye appreciated the shape and form of the dancer's body draped in the chair and she painted what she saw, but I felt as if I were seeing into a mirror reflecting what could be my future. Not everyone is good enough to become a professional ballerina, and even those who are eventually become too old. The painting showed me the depth of the dancer's sadness after her final performance, and every time I looked at her I felt her pain, too. I knew I didn't want to end up like her.
“Then one day, I found myself looking at the painting in a different way. I realized I was also an artist, and I had the power to paint my future. My life was a canvas and the future my work of art. Once I came to that realization, I was able to take the steps to protect myself from such a heartbreaking fate. That changed everything. Now, whenever I look at the sad ballerina, all I see is a beautiful painting.”
As he listened to her, Michael was reminded of Susan's words: “Anyone can receive significant life-changing messages from unexpected sources, but they can only influence us if we are open to them.”
“I can't believe what I just told you,” Jennie said with embarrassment. “I've never shared that story with anyone, but for some reason I trusted you with it. Can I trust you?”
He met her eyes. “Of course you can.”

Michael responds to her candor.

“Hearing you talk about yourself makes me realize how wrong I was to cut myself off from my friends by not returning phone calls. I thought no one else could possibly understand what I was going through. I was an ass.”
Jennie regarded him with sympathy. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Life is difficult enough without making it harder. We all react to situations differently. Your friends will understand.”
He sipped his coffee and settled back against the booth. “You’re right, they’ve forgiven me. It’s not that I’m against change, but for years my life was routine, a little boring perhaps, but safe. Now, I feel things are out of control and—well—I feel lost.”
“I get it.”
“There's more to it than that. My whole perspective of what's real and what isn't has come into question.”
“Did you stop to consider that could be a good thing?” When he didn’t answer, she continued. “I'll bet when you were working so hard you used to wish you had more free time to relax and do things you like.”

After they leave he sits in his car, turns on the engine and muses:

“Will we remain only friends, or will our friendship evolve into something more intimate? I like her. She seems special, genuine, and different from the other women I’ve known who were power-driven to climb the corporate ladder and break through the glass ceiling.
He considered her attributes. She obviously isn’t after my money, and she’s very attractive—sweet yet sexy—creative, a good talker and listener, honest, intelligent, and blessed with a good sense of humor. What more could I ask for?
The following morning…Michael phoned Eric at his office and told him about…meeting Jennie.
“You met her at a bookstore? Dude, I don’t know how you do it.” Eric tossed his drafting pencil and the lead broke.
“I know you and Susan are going to like her. In fact, she reminds me a little of Susan.”
“What else? Gimme the juicy details.”
“She's pretty and sexy, creative and intelligent, which makes me wonder how I ever managed to meet someone like her who wasn't already involved.”
“What's her body like?”
“A perfect ten.”

This is a brief introduction to Jennie Greene. She emerges as a strong willed, self confident stubborn woman who stands up to Michael, refusing to become just another of his meaningless conquests. She knows what she wants out of life and is willing to walk away from their relationship to get it. What happens?

Read GOOD FORTUNE to find out.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

KEEP GOING WHEN FACED WITH OBSTACLES

The tale of GOOD FORTUNE commences during the 1994 California recession when companies were downsizing and unemployment was high. This sounds familiar doesn't it--as if it were today's news. The plight of my character, Michael Hamilton, is one I can personally identify with. I know how he felt when he got laid off because in December of 2008 this happened to me. The first thing I did after dusting myself off and squaring my shoulders was apply for unemployment benefits. Each week I forged ahead with a positive attitude, responded to ads, went on interviews and sent out resumes. I had great qualifications as an administrative assistant and expected I'd be employed as one soon, but I just couldn’t get hired. After a few months, like Michael, my self-confidence slipped and I became humiliated and discouraged. I managed to get hired as a cashier but after 4 months of standing all day on a very thin mat my knees became inflamed and I couldn't do the job anymore. I reapplied for unemployment and continued searching for jobs. I was determined not to give up and as good fortune would have it, I finally got hired at a job I really like that also allows me the time I need to keep writing. I'm currently working on my second novel, so everything worked out in the best possible way. While I was unemployed I kept myself motivated by editing my manuscript. I accomplished my goal of finishing GOOD FORTUNE and getting it published. Having the time to do this was something positive that kept me focused and stopped me from giving up. I felt a sense of accomplishment and this enabled me to keep going.

While writing about Michael’s emotions when he unexpectedly finds himself out of work I was easily able to draw upon my own experience. Michael goes through various stages of self-doubt and humiliation because he’s been a respected executive for 12 years and suddenly he’s sending out resumes and competing for jobs against much younger inexperienced applicants. Over lunch, he voices his woes to his best friend, Eric Brewer.

“You know, you're lucky to have a good job.” Again, he ran fingers through his hair. “Going on job interviews at my age sucks. Twenty applicants show up for one lousy opening. Most of them are kids compared to me. Hell, I’m twice their age. I feel old and . . . well . . . useless. Like my time has come and gone and there’s no future for me anymore.”
“Bullshit. You've got experience, those kids have got acne.”

Unfortunately, Eric’s attempt at humor doesn't help because Michael is forty-one and knows his age works against him. While he may have more experience and be better qualified, employers are cutting back and don't want to pay the kind of salary he's accustomed to. This makes younger job seekers more appealing. After a morning jog, he takes a shower and has an honest dialog with himself. Outside of his 12-year position at the advertising firm he admits he has limited work experience and concedes his only option right now is to sell shoes again as he did when he was in college. His aspirations of opening his own business—something completely different from advertising—is going to have to wait. He knows he has to find a job soon and selling shoes is something he can do now.

Can I do it? Can I go from being an experienced professional back to a shoe salesman? Even though it would only be temporary, it’s humiliating. He rinsed his hair and applied conditioner. I know the drill: “Take a giant step backward to advance toward your goal.” Okay, my pride is injured, but I can’t let that stop me. I can do this, I have to.
. . . Above the bathroom sink, steam misted the mirror blocking his reflection. He used the corner of his towel and rubbed a circle in the middle; his reflection stared back at him. It was apparent his recent setback had taken its toll because his face looked slightly older. He noticed a certain edge to his expression that wasn’t there before, enhanced by the small worry lines that had begun to form between his eyebrows. Well, there was nothing he could do about that. Since he would be interviewing soon, he hoped his life experience and maturity would count in his favor.

How many people currently have had the same experience where without warning their job gets taken away from them and everything they’ve invested years in building disappears? The national unemployment rate varies but I think it stays somewhere around 9%. It’s been on the news how a corporate executive finds himself delivering pizzas for minimum wage and tips to keep his house out of foreclosure and he’s grateful for the work. Another scenario on TV depicted how an unemployed executive had all his furnishing in storage and was homeless. For months he was staying in hotels while going on job interviews and paying the bill with frequent flyer miles he’d accumulated from his former high-power position. His unusual story caught national attention and fortunately, someone offered him a job.

For those of you reading this who are struggling and uncertain which direction your life is going, try to keep your intent strong and stay focused on your goal. Don’t give up when faced with obstacles. Keep an open mind and heart and you will find the way through them to success. Where you land may be completely different from what you expected or wanted, so be flexible and open to change; embrace it with all you’ve got.

During this holiday season, now more than ever, I wish you and yours good fortune.

Leslie