Portrait by Tao Nguyen

Showing posts with label enlightenment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label enlightenment. Show all posts

Saturday, February 2, 2013

HOW PATIENCE TEACHES



From his years of experience, Tong knew even when one intrinsically comprehends what is right, taking action is not always the best course. Sometimes, not by doing, but just by being who you are and practicing patience leads you to your goal. By allowing the way of all things to show you the turn of the road, the mystery of how one ought to proceed will be revealed. The learned and spiritual ones he'd met throughout his life seemed to know this, never speaking it, but by their actions one could trace it.

"GOOD FORTUNE" page 191


This is only one of many life lessons "GOOD FORTUNE" shares through the vehicle of Tong, my favorite character. Watch for more.

Yours in good fortune,
Leslie Bratspis

"Like" me on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/GoodFortuneFans?ref=hl


“GOOD FORTUNE” is available on Amazon.com, Kindle, Barnes&Noble.com, Nook & smashwords.com. Your local bookstore can order it,  request it from your library and tell them it’s already been cataloged.







Monday, July 23, 2012

FOREVER YOUNG


It happens before you know it. A glance in the mirror shows the beginning of age lines. Traces of gray hair have suddenly cropped up. You awake one morning, get out of bed and feel aches and pains in your joints when you walk. While shaving or moisturizing, you observe your neck is starting to look like a wattle. You can’t stop it. Aging is part of living and if you consider the alternative, a few wrinkles and some joint aches aren’t so bad. But why, you lament, why can’t you stay young forever? This is a question people have pondered for centuries while searching for eternal youth. British author James Hilton wrote of Shangri-La in his novel “Lost Horizon.” He created the residents of Shangri-La as almost immortal, living years beyond the normal lifespan while they aged slowly in appearance. For thousands of years tales of a fountain of youth have been written. Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon was searching for the fountain of youth when he traveled to what is now Florida.
“Forever Young”
By Bob Dylan

"May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young."



We’re bombarded every day with messages to eat healthy foods, take vitamins, exercise, don’t smoke, apply sunscreen before going outside. Tummy tucks, liposuction, facelifts and laser treatments pay college tuition for dermatologist’s kids. I do my best to cook whole foods, moisturize with SPF 30, get regular exercise and floss at night. But I admit there are times when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and don’t recognize myself. I still feel like a twenty year old inside but the reality is, I’m not.

In “Good Fortune” I write about Michael’s and Wu’s feelings about the changes they see in their outward appearance as they realize they’re aging. I introduce Michael after he’s suddenly laid off his executive job and finds himself literally thrown into a pool of much younger job seekers who have a definite edge over him. He confesses his frustration to his friend Eric:

“Going on job interviews at my age sucks. Twenty applicants show up for one lousy opening. Most of them are kids compared to me. Hell, I’m twice their age. I feel old and . . . well . . . useless. Like my time has come and gone and there’s no future for me anymore.”
“Bullshit. You've got experience, those kids have got acne.”
Michael placed his spoon on the table and stared at it for a few seconds, and then his eyes met Eric’s. “Well, a lot of good a clear complexion does me. I haven't had a single response to the resumes I've submitted.”

Later, when he’s contemplating whether or not to take a temporary job while he’s figuring out how he’s going to open his own business, Michael steps from the shower and regards his image:

            Above the bathroom sink, steam misted the mirror blocking his reflection. He used the corner of his towel and rubbed a circle in the middle; his reflection stared back at him. It was apparent his recent setback had taken its toll because his face looked slightly older. He noticed a certain edge to his expression that wasn’t there before, enhanced by the small worry lines that had begun to form between his eyebrows. Well, there was nothing he could do about that. Since he would be interviewing soon, he hoped his life experience and maturity would count in his favor.

Like Michael, Wu is facing his own personal challenges and one morning while shaving, he notices how the passage of time is changing him.

            While he lathered up to shave, Wu scrutinized his reflection in the bathroom mirror and noticed the beginning of fine age lines fanning his eyes that would inevitably turn into deep wrinkles like his father's. He was struck with the harsh realization that time was passing for him, too.

Beyond the cosmetic changes Wu observes in himself, he has deep feelings about his father growing old. He expresses his concern, but his father has a quite different perspective:

“Son, I appreciate your concern about my health, but you must accept the fact that all men grow old. I cannot prevent time from passing, and if I could, I wouldn’t want to. Life has its own rhythm that conforms to our daily existence. It changes with us as we grow and mature. For most of my life I have worked hard, and now, I am getting ready to slow down my pace and take the needed time to rest. I have earned that right, which did not come easily. Do not deny an old man the reward he has labored toward his entire life.”
Until that moment, Wu hadn't realized how much he had taken his father for granted, or that he wanted him to remain healthy and vigorous so he would never die and leave him, like his mother. Even though they clashed for years, his father was always there, a solid presence he now recognized he would lose. This sudden realization forced him to acknowledge that as much as he wanted to change the course of life and keep his father forever young, he knew it was beyond his human power to do so.
Accept the change; that's what Father is saying. I’ll try, but it feels as if he is asking too much of me.
Sensing Wu's distress, Tong addressed his son in a calm voice. “In due time, your own sons will become grown men who will feel all that you are experiencing now as you observe how old and withered this body of mine has become. If you can learn acceptance of old age and how it transforms those you love who were once strong and full of spirit into frail tired souls, when it becomes necessary, you will be able to guide your boys with love and compassion as they struggle to accept the changes they perceive in you, when you follow in my footsteps.”
Wu approached his father’s bed. “If that's what you wish, Father, I'll try. But please be honest. Is it only old age that ails you? If you are suffering any pain, any pain at all, I want you to see the acupuncturist.” When Tong protested, Wu added, “At least let Anna brew you some medicinal tea to make you feel better.”
Tong wouldn't hear of it. “Nonsense! Occasionally my joints ache, but I have nothing hurting me in the way you fear. I’m slowing down, so if I work less and keep myself warm, that will be my best tonic. My biggest comforts in life now are a bowl of hot noodles and watching my grandsons tumble on the floor the way Cho and I once did when we were boys.”
It was impossible for Wu to imagine the two old men as young rambunctious boys and he smiled at the thought of his own sons being the same as his Uncle Cho and Father once were.

Yes, we were all young children who took our youth for granted. Now that we’re older and wiser, let’s be accepting of the aging process and the knowledge that brings us. If you have unfinished business with someone, do what you can to make peace between you while you still have the opportunity. After exchanging harsh words with his father, Wu watches him walk away:

Tong turned his back on his son. On the way to his room his slippers made an angry slapping sound on the wooden floor. With sorrow, Wu watched his father walk away thinking how he always looked old and tired, but that night especially, he detected something more, something beyond the usual air of sadness surrounding him, something that had made him unapproachable. He knew he was helpless to stop his father's grieving for his long-departed mother. Nor was he able to stop the inevitable changes that accompany aging. Time was fading the old man into the shadows, and Wu’s chance to mend the cracks in their relationship before his father’s death seemed impossibly out of reach. The realization consumed him with grief.

I choose to view aging as a positive experience. Wrinkles tell our life stories and should be cherished. Aches and pains remind me I’m alive. Each day I repeat these words: “I make peace within myself and let go of anger towards those who are unapproachable and unyielding. I’m mindful of the blessings each morning brings when I awake, and I give thanks for this day.”

Yours in good fortune,
Leslie Bratspis
Author

"Good Fortune" is available on Amazon.com & Kindle, Barnes & Noble.com & Nook
Goodreads.com & Smashwords.com
http://www.amazon.com/Leslie-Bratspis/e/B005EJ438W

Saturday, March 3, 2012

SPONTANEOUS GENERATION OR...?


I was recently given advice in relation to blogging about Good Fortune. “Select a character and explain why readers should get to know him or her. Tie the character into a historical context, current events, a trend or a niche interest.” Maybe that’s sound advice but it’s not my personality. So while musing about what to focus on in my next blog and how to approach it, I recalled something unexpected that happened while I was writing chapter 22. Then, I took it a step further but I'll get to that later. Let me preface this by admitting I’m no expert on how or why this happened—it just did. I’m not a professor of writing fiction or else I’d offer you a rational explanation.

I had just started writing a new chapter when two characters, Tom Clark and Lyle Gardner, appeared unexpectedly. Tom and Lyle differ from my other characters because they don’t fit into one of two molds—either college educated professional Caucasians or 4 generations of Asian-American immigrants striving for the American Dream. In contrast, Tom and Lyle are rough around the edges working class guys, high school graduates who have gone through some tough economic times, are currently without girlfriends and are living rent free in a Big Sur cabin Lyle inherited from his dad. They’re long-haired bearded outdoors types who have done construction work and whatever blue collar jobs they could find in Salinas. Since moving to Big Sur they’ve managed to support themselves as artists. Tom creates wind chimes from driftwood pieces, beach glass and shells he gathers for free, and sells his creations to wealthy private clients and tourist shops. Lyle is an expert wood carver who sells his work at coastal galleries. These two guys are best friends since high school, and spar with each other through playful insults and constant shoving.

I admit their arrival came as a complete surprise since I thought I had the whole book neatly planned out, characters and events all listed in chronological order so as I wrote, I methodically checked off each item: done. After I completed the draft of chapter 22, I leaned back in my chair and gazed at the computer screen somewhat perplexed and asked aloud, “What just happened? Where did those two guys come from?” The interesting thing about Tom and Lyle is not only did they spontaneously appear without fanfare, but they added a level of depth to my story and tied things together in a way that otherwise might not have worked so well. The manuscript is better because of them.

Before writing about my surprising experience I indulged in a bit of fantastical musing about Tom and Lyle’s spontaneous generation and my imagination came up with a possible scenario. What if there’s a place “somewhere” close to earth where fictional characters exist while waiting to be called? I imagine this as being like a lavish resort. It has a swimming pool and tennis courts and is near a white pristine beach lined with swaying palm trees and blooming tropical plants that permeate the air with fragrance. The ocean is always warm and calm and the weather placid and sunny. The tanned and rested unemployed characters enjoy themselves every day doing what people do when vacationing. There is no pressure on them and no demands on their time. They hang out, get massages and facials and manicures, eat delicious healthy gourmet meals they don’t have to prepare for themselves, don’t have to do laundry or pay bills or do anything unpleasant or be distracted by mundane tasks. No one talks politics and argues philosophical differences, no one dies, marriages don’t fall apart, children are perfectly well-adjusted and behaved; there isn’t a care in their utopian world.

Then suddenly a bell rings, or a sleeve is tugged, or perhaps a cell phone buzzes and an agent calls and says something like: “Hey guys, Leslie Bratspis is writing a novel and you’re both needed or her book is going to be lacking in depth. No time to pack. Her fingers are typing as we speak and I’m sending you to help her hone her craft NOW.” Do you think this is possible? And if so, what happens to characters who suddenly find themselves written into a situation they don’t like? Perhaps they’re given radical political views they don’t share or they’re being pursued by a psycho killer and there’s nowhere to hide. Or they’re tossed into a manuscript where demands are made on them to solve mysteries, survive tragedies, work jobs they don’t like or their personalities are altered to the point they can’t stand how they’re portrayed. So much for resort living. Is this too far-fetched? I told you I was musing!

I hope Tom and Lyle are happy with the way I depicted them and I don’t think I have to apologize for tearing them away from an idyllic life out there “somewhere” in the ether before they came alive on the pages of Good Fortune. I’d like to hear your point of view of where characters suddenly emerge from, and have you ever experienced such a thing yourself when writing? Please email me your thoughts and experiences to lesliebratspis@yahoo.com.

Yours in good fortune,
Leslie Bratspis
© 2012



For all you folks with e-Readers I'm participating in "Read an e-Book Week" beginning March 4th - 10th. Be sure to enter coupon REW75 at checkout to receive your discount. Go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65462. Wishing you good fortune!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year! I’m glad to be writing another blog entry because I got so busy towards the year’s end I didn’t have time to write. Now that I’m snowbound I'm anxious to share some exciting news. Last week I was notified GOOD FORTUNE was chosen for February’s read for the Gig Harbor Welcome Club Book Club II. I’m thrilled and honored they chose my novel and I look forward to meeting the members at their next meeting. Spurred by their interest, I opened an account with Goodreads.com and already have two 5-star reviews posted! Woo-hoo! (Please feel free to add yours.) When I wrote GOOD FORTUNE I hoped my readers would enjoy it, and the feedback I’ve received has made me realize my dream. Thank you so much for your support. To read all my reviews go to:

http://www.amazon.com/Good-Fortune-Leslie-Bratspis/product-reviews/1611700280/ref=sr_1_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Most of us make new year's resolutions—save money, join a gym, take a fabulous vacation, lose weight, volunteer etc., but when Wu’s wife, Anna, prepares to celebrate the Chinese New Year the first thing she does is shop for her family. Once again, she and Wu are hosting New Year’s Eve dinner at their house and all the close members of the Chow family will assemble to enjoy the six course feast prepared by Anna, her sister-in-law Sue and Aunt Ying. But first Anna must clothes shop because it is important her family have new outfits to wear.

Page 271: Since it was traditional to start the Chinese New Year with a smart new outfit, weeks before she began cleaning house in preparation of the guests who would be coming to celebrate New Year's Eve dinner, Anna shopped for her family. As hosts, it was important her family be well-dressed for the holiday. She chose garments of bright red with accents of gold; red to ensure good luck and gold for prosperity, the two most important elements for the upcoming year.

After she shops, Anna tackles the project of cleaning house from top to bottom because as a teenager, she learned the hard way the importance of this task.

Page 272: Anna hummed as she mopped the kitchen floor, smiling and remembering how she used to hate housework. Now, she took enjoyment from keeping the house clean for her family. Her change in attitude began when she was sixteen. Like most teenage girls, she had a rebellious streak; both her mother and fate would rid her of it.
“No! I won't do it!” Anna yelled at her mother. “That's just a dumb superstition someone taught you when you were my age, and I'm going to prove it by leaving my room exactly the way it is.”
Anna's mother pressed her lips together with frustration. “At sixteen you are so sure you know everything. I warn you, Anna, if you don’t clean the mess in your room before the New Year, it will affect your whole life.”
“Do you hear how stupid you sound, Mom?” Anna shook her head with disgust and flopped down on her bed.
“You will have only yourself to blame when your life becomes total chaos,” her mother warned one last time, then slammed the door in anger because Anna put a pillow over her head to drown out the sound of her mother’s nagging.
Anna soon wished she had heeded her mother's ominous prediction, because the next year was the worst year of her life. It started when she came down with a bad case of German measles. After that, she and her best friend began to argue unceasingly. She received a “C” in geometry that ruined her straight “A” average and, as if that weren’t enough, her once regular menstrual cycle became erratic and painful.
After that ill-fated year, Anna always made certain to straighten her room well before the year's end. When she married, she continued the ritual by thoroughly cleaning the entire house from top to bottom, careful not to use a broom three days from New Year’s—a broom sweeps away good luck.

After consuming a delicious six course meal, the Chow family looks forward to the story-telling part of the evening that has become a tradition.

Page 283-286: A hush settled over the room as mothers sat their toddlers on their laps. Older brothers and sisters kept the other youngsters quiet so Tong could address the gathering.
“Tonight we are assembled to celebrate the coming New Year, the Year of the Boar, which has always been one of our most fortuitous years.
“As you know, the boar is a symbol of wealth and family. Since wealth usually involves a certain amount of counting, whether it is in blessings or money, tonight I have chosen to speak about the Chinese system of numbers and our lunar calendar.
“Children are taught to count by using their fingers. However, before there were numbers as we know them today, in a distant time past, three thousand years ago, our ancient ancestors drew lines and symbols to keep track of the days.”
A baby's cry interrupted Tong's speech, and he waited patiently while the mother quieted her infant before he went on.
“A thousand years later our people discovered a way to keep track of the months by watching the changing face of the moon.”
“What about the animal faces, Grandfather? Where did they come from? Was there a giant zoo in the sky?” Dennis wanted to know.
“Ho! A very good question, my little scholar. During the great Han dynasty, each year was matched with an animal name. How many of them can you identify for me?”
Dennis stuck a finger in his mouth and sucked on it while he thought about the answer. “Um . . . I know . . . there's a monkey . . . and a dog . . . and . . . and . . . and a pig.”
“Excellent. I will write out the names of all twelve animals for you. Can you draw a picture for me of each animal next to his name?”
“Don't forget me, Grandfather. I want to draw pictures for you, too,” William chimed in, jumping up and down, which excited the rest of his young cousins who all began to jump and cheer at the same time.
Tong chuckled. “Very well, all of you can learn together. I will give the list to your father. He will make copies at work so you and your cousins can each have one.”
As always, Wu was amazed by his father's broad scope of knowledge and his inspiration for teaching children. “I'd be glad to, Father. How did you learn so much about our calendar?”
“Grandfather passed on all his knowledge to me because he knew I would travel far from home and most likely never return. He made certain to teach me Chinese history so I wouldn’t grow up in a far off place and forget my heritage.”
His father's words made Wu wish he had spent more time learning from him instead of being so single-minded about business. With the approaching New Year, he made a firm resolution to make the time to listen to his seemingly endless store of knowledge, learning what he could while he still had the opportunity to do so. This was a sobering thought to have on New Year's Eve, and he quickly dismissed it, but not without resolving to act upon it.
Uncle Cho spoke up next. “Well then, I have something to share. Would anyone like to hear?”
Encouraged by the group’s cheers, Cho looked around the room, grabbed his full stomach and assumed a teasing voice. “I could not help but notice that all of you ate your fair share of noodles tonight.”
“They were delicious,” a voice called out.
“Wonderful!”
A small utterance came from one of the youngsters. “I love noodles.”
“Very well.” Cho began to articulate in a sing-song voice perfect for telling stories, replete with nuances and colorful descriptions. “Tonight I am going to tell you about the Shuikou noodles that come from the beautiful Shuikou region, where the Chang and the Daning rivers meet. This basin is full of tiny black birds with beautiful red feathered tails. The birds fly within a gorge carpeted with yellow wildflowers. Five hundred years ago, the people of this region made thin round noodles out of wheat flour and limestone spring water. Rumor has it these noodles were so delicious that after one of the Ming emperors first tasted them, he demanded his tribute from the Shuikou region be paid from then on in nothing else but bundles of noodles.”
“Uncle Cho, why didn't you tell me that story when I was your Little Tadpole? I remember every story you ever told me, and that wasn’t one of them,” Wu said.
“Because I didn’t know it until today. Not to be outdone tonight by my older scholarly brother, I searched through my books for an interesting story that would have something to do with food in honor of tonight's feast.”
“Ho! Very wise of you indeed,” chortled Tong. “Just like the old days; still trying to keep up with me.” Then he turned to his beloved aged companion seated beside him. “Now we await Feng to tell us something of interest. What about it, old friend? Is there something you want to share?”
Feng slowly ground out his after-dinner cigarette and nodded his head, smiling with the sly look of someone who concealed a wonderful secret. “You probably expected me to come here on this all-important night unprepared, but your clever son alerted me to have a story ready, and his warning gave me plenty of time to plan ahead.”
Such an unexpected action on the part of Wu made Tong and Cho view him with renewed respect and pride. Apparently, Wu had invested some serious thought into the after-dinner storytelling portion of the evening that began a few years back and had since evolved into a Chow family tradition. Secretly, Tong believed it was the influence of the book of fortunes, whether or not Wu was aware of its effect on him.
“Please begin, Feng,” prompted Wu. “All of us are eager to hear what you have prepared to tell us.”
Feng felt the eyes of the guests in the room upon him and, although he was unable to make out the details of any but the closest faces, he knew these people well and felt comfortable addressing them.
“I spent many years of my life as a keeper of books. What some of you may not know is that in my youth I was also an accomplished calligrapher. I was tutored by a great scholar who taught me the art of calligraphy while also instructing me in its history.”
Only Tong knew about this area of Feng's education and he listened intently, wondering what he was going to say next.
“In ancient China the art of calligraphy was held in the highest esteem by the whole population, educated and illiterate, rich and poor. Calligraphy soared to a stature above all other forms of art because it had the most profound spiritual value attached to it. Over hundreds of years, various scripts evolved. To the student, it is easy to recognize and differentiate, for example, between Kaiti, Caoshu, Shaoer, Lishu, Weibi, and Xiaozhuan. These different styles represent not only the distinct stages in the evolution of our written language but serve as a record to preserve our past. A fact all you young people should take pride in is that your Chinese ancestors invented paper eleven centuries before the western world.”
Feng folded his hands in his lap, which indicated he had concluded.

The difference varies between cultures as they celebrate New Year according to their traditions, but what they share in common is gathering with friends and family and celebrating with hope the next year will bring good health, happiness and good fortune.

I wish you all the best!
Leslie

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

KEEP GOING WHEN FACED WITH OBSTACLES

The tale of GOOD FORTUNE commences during the 1994 California recession when companies were downsizing and unemployment was high. This sounds familiar doesn't it--as if it were today's news. The plight of my character, Michael Hamilton, is one I can personally identify with. I know how he felt when he got laid off because in December of 2008 this happened to me. The first thing I did after dusting myself off and squaring my shoulders was apply for unemployment benefits. Each week I forged ahead with a positive attitude, responded to ads, went on interviews and sent out resumes. I had great qualifications as an administrative assistant and expected I'd be employed as one soon, but I just couldn’t get hired. After a few months, like Michael, my self-confidence slipped and I became humiliated and discouraged. I managed to get hired as a cashier but after 4 months of standing all day on a very thin mat my knees became inflamed and I couldn't do the job anymore. I reapplied for unemployment and continued searching for jobs. I was determined not to give up and as good fortune would have it, I finally got hired at a job I really like that also allows me the time I need to keep writing. I'm currently working on my second novel, so everything worked out in the best possible way. While I was unemployed I kept myself motivated by editing my manuscript. I accomplished my goal of finishing GOOD FORTUNE and getting it published. Having the time to do this was something positive that kept me focused and stopped me from giving up. I felt a sense of accomplishment and this enabled me to keep going.

While writing about Michael’s emotions when he unexpectedly finds himself out of work I was easily able to draw upon my own experience. Michael goes through various stages of self-doubt and humiliation because he’s been a respected executive for 12 years and suddenly he’s sending out resumes and competing for jobs against much younger inexperienced applicants. Over lunch, he voices his woes to his best friend, Eric Brewer.

“You know, you're lucky to have a good job.” Again, he ran fingers through his hair. “Going on job interviews at my age sucks. Twenty applicants show up for one lousy opening. Most of them are kids compared to me. Hell, I’m twice their age. I feel old and . . . well . . . useless. Like my time has come and gone and there’s no future for me anymore.”
“Bullshit. You've got experience, those kids have got acne.”

Unfortunately, Eric’s attempt at humor doesn't help because Michael is forty-one and knows his age works against him. While he may have more experience and be better qualified, employers are cutting back and don't want to pay the kind of salary he's accustomed to. This makes younger job seekers more appealing. After a morning jog, he takes a shower and has an honest dialog with himself. Outside of his 12-year position at the advertising firm he admits he has limited work experience and concedes his only option right now is to sell shoes again as he did when he was in college. His aspirations of opening his own business—something completely different from advertising—is going to have to wait. He knows he has to find a job soon and selling shoes is something he can do now.

Can I do it? Can I go from being an experienced professional back to a shoe salesman? Even though it would only be temporary, it’s humiliating. He rinsed his hair and applied conditioner. I know the drill: “Take a giant step backward to advance toward your goal.” Okay, my pride is injured, but I can’t let that stop me. I can do this, I have to.
. . . Above the bathroom sink, steam misted the mirror blocking his reflection. He used the corner of his towel and rubbed a circle in the middle; his reflection stared back at him. It was apparent his recent setback had taken its toll because his face looked slightly older. He noticed a certain edge to his expression that wasn’t there before, enhanced by the small worry lines that had begun to form between his eyebrows. Well, there was nothing he could do about that. Since he would be interviewing soon, he hoped his life experience and maturity would count in his favor.

How many people currently have had the same experience where without warning their job gets taken away from them and everything they’ve invested years in building disappears? The national unemployment rate varies but I think it stays somewhere around 9%. It’s been on the news how a corporate executive finds himself delivering pizzas for minimum wage and tips to keep his house out of foreclosure and he’s grateful for the work. Another scenario on TV depicted how an unemployed executive had all his furnishing in storage and was homeless. For months he was staying in hotels while going on job interviews and paying the bill with frequent flyer miles he’d accumulated from his former high-power position. His unusual story caught national attention and fortunately, someone offered him a job.

For those of you reading this who are struggling and uncertain which direction your life is going, try to keep your intent strong and stay focused on your goal. Don’t give up when faced with obstacles. Keep an open mind and heart and you will find the way through them to success. Where you land may be completely different from what you expected or wanted, so be flexible and open to change; embrace it with all you’ve got.

During this holiday season, now more than ever, I wish you and yours good fortune.

Leslie


Monday, November 21, 2011

GOOD FORTUNE'S LIFE LESSONS


GOOD FORTUNE'S Life Lessons:
Happiness is less tied to outward goals than inner awareness.
Knowledge and wisdom aren’t synonymous.
Accept change.
Receive guidance from the unexpected.
Look beyond the obvious for answers.
Believe in miracles.
Meditate.
Teach and share wisdom.
Distinguish between wealth and fortune.
Listen to your inner voice.
Forgive misunderstandings.
Love completely.

Quotes From the Book of Fortunes:
“Let imbalance guide you to awareness.”
“Wise action can be learned and is the ultimate wealth.”
“The crack in your heart allows light in.”
“Feel each breath including the pauses.”
“Share your profits as well as your burdens.”
“Standing at the edge of the sea amid tall trees is a reminder of eternity.”
“Take care not to delegate to others your right to question authority.”
“All who preceded you led you to this day; live it in reverence of their struggle.”

GOOD FORTUNE can be purchased at Amazon.com & Kindle

Friday, October 28, 2011

ACCEPTING LOSS WITH GRACE

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last blog because I’ve been preoccupied with my 96 year old mother. She just passed away yesterday and in truth, it’s a blessing she’s now at peace. Just this once, instead of picking up where I left off and proceeding in chronological order through my novel, I want to skip ahead to a section of GOOD FORTUNE dealing with aging and death, since this has recently been foremost in my mind.
On page 161 Tong speaks to his son, Wu, about growing old. Wu has expressed alarm over his father’s frail health and Tong wants to reassure him.

“Son, I appreciate your concern about my health, but you must accept the fact that all men grow old. I cannot prevent time from passing, and if I could, I wouldn’t want to. Life has its own rhythm that conforms to our daily existence. It changes with us as we grow and mature. For most of my life I have worked hard, and now, I am getting ready to slow down my pace and take the needed time to rest. I have earned that right, which did not come easily. Do not deny an old man the reward he has labored toward his entire life.”
Until that moment, Wu hadn't realized how much he had taken his father for granted, or that he wanted him to remain healthy and vigorous so he would never die and leave him, like his mother. Even though they clashed for years, his father was always there, a solid presence he now recognized he would lose. This sudden realization forced him to acknowledge that as much as he wanted to change the course of life and keep his father forever young, he knew it was beyond his human power to do so.
Accept the change; that's what Father is saying. I’ll try, but it feels as if he is asking too much of me.

As I stood by my mother’s bed holding her hand watching her struggling to breathe, I observed her fear when she was moved because she had lost her sight. At that moment, all I wanted for her was peace. I stroked her face and reassured her that I was there and everything was all right. She had changed drastically from the mother I remembered. Most of her hair was gone, her eyes were clouded with blindness, and she was helpless and weak. Over the years I had often referred to her as a force of nature because she was so strong and stubborn. She out lived my father by 18 years and became quite independent in her old age. At 90 she had a date book, a cell phone, was enrolled in a college writing class, went shopping and got her hair and nails done every week. Her vision in one eye was failing so she immediately hired a driver to take her to her various appointments. Now 6 and a half years later she was stripped of her independence and that broke my heart. Like Wu, I struggled to accept the change in her.

Tong continues his attempt to soothe the worry from his son.
“In due time, your own sons will become grown men who will feel all that you are experiencing now as you observe how old and withered this body of mine has become. If you can learn acceptance of old age and how it transforms those you love who were once strong and full of spirit into frail tired souls, when it becomes necessary, you will be able to guide your boys with love and compassion as they struggle to accept the changes they perceive in you, when you follow in my footsteps.”

And so it is with the circle of life. Death is a natural part of the cycle and if we are fortunate enough to live long, as we age our bodies change in many ways. Acceptance of transforming from vigorous youths into seniors with aching joints, thinning hair, blurred vision and loss of energy are just a few things we might experience as a lesson in acceptance. Instead of viewing these changes as negatives, we should embrace them with the knowledge and appreciation that we are still able to live, laugh and love. Being mindful and living in the moment without lamenting about what was or what is to come is important to practice. Mindfulness meditation is a form of meditation that teaches us to do this.

On page 324 Tong makes a promise to Wu that after he dies, he will still guide him. “In the same way that Grandfather has watched over me, I will be there to guide you when the time comes. Death cannot separate us; it will merely change our mode of communication.”

Whether or not you believe in life after death, when a loved one passes away it is a comforting notion that they might still be able to watch over us. Several of my friends have told me they received messages from deceased loved ones in their dreams. One friend even used a teaching method in one of his psychology workshops that his departed girlfriend showed him in a dream, which turned out to be quite successful.

On page 326 Wu contemplates the loss of his father.
Although Tong was physically removed from Wu's life, every day poignant memories of his father came back to him along with the stabbing heartache that each recollection brought with it. Each memory was precious as a perfectly shaped pearl, when all strung together, formed an invisible necklace Wu wore with grief and pride around his neck. It seemed as though he could reach up and feel them, could rub the pearls between his fingers, sensing their roundness and smooth firm texture as he recalled what each one represented.

Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote in 1969 in her ground breaking book, On Death and Dying, there are 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. When you experience the loss of a loved one and go through all 5 stages of grief, think of your memories as the pearls in Wu’s invisible necklace. My hope is that you will ultimately accept the loss with grace and that your heart will be at peace.